An off key humming

Tonight is definitely angst-filled. It's not doubt about any of this, although I did have moments today where I said to myself, 'Self, what ARE you doing?!?!', but it's definitely THERE. Do you ever have those days where things just seem to not vibrate at the right level? When things just seem a little, well, 'off' - (like those dumb cloudy-then-clear Claritin commercials?). Today was one of those days. Maybe it's nerves about going to the Embassy tomorrow. So many people think I'm confident and well spoken and self-assured (and I am mostly), but things like foreign authorities still fill me with a sense of dread. Like in one fell swoop they could make this not happen (which, indeed, they could: the giant game of dominoes that I've worked so hard on and someone casually sneezes on.) Though I think I've got my duckies in the proverbial row...

• Notarized letter from me asking for the visa
• Notarized letter from the employer asking for the visa (visto per lavoro con retribuito di compagnia esterna), or so I think ...
• The new-and-improved passport valid 'til 2015 in hand (bonus: MUCH better pic!), thanks to the Washington Passport Agency and $127 (god bless capitalism, eh?)
• Codice Fiscale
• Letter testifying that I've got health insurance
• $65.20 in exact change to offer for my national visa application

... but I'm COMPLETELY 100% certain that they'll send me back needing something else. Whatever that 'something' is, it is more than likely that I will have to get it when I am in Italy at the end of may, which wouldn't be the end of the world, but is definitely even MORE intimidating - meaning I need to find on my own whatever agency, etc., there to jump through bureaucratic hoops with in a different language. Admittedly, the thought makes me sweat a little!

Although, on the upside, I got a lovely note today from Beatrice, all in Italian, which I understood perfectly. The Diplomat (who went strangely quiet all of a sudden after the last trip, adding to my neurosis) also sent a note mentioning that he's arranging for the satellite internet, which is great news. He finally heard that he'll be posted to Cairo, which I feel bad about - he really was hoping for Warsaw. He also mentioned that I might be solo when I get there in May, as he'll be in Ottawa, which adds to the 'whew- talk about no safety net!' feeling....

Although, in all of this, it seems that is a crazy small world. This blog ... The View from Il Loggino -- that I stumbled across is from a woman in a similar situation, moving to the Val d' Orcia, is Of course, that serves to make me even MORE nervous (she mentions FBI fingerprints?!?! geez... )
Okay, enough neurosis for one night. Deep breath. One step at a time.