If not now, when?

One American woman. Twenty acres and a 1650 farmhouse in Tuscany. Random introspection and hilarity, depending on the day.

04 April 2006


Anyone who has known me for very long can tell you I'm not a morning person. Many would tell you that left to my own devices, a deep, snuggly, wonderful sleep - one where there is that rare commodity of nowhere to be the next morning, no alarm to wake you - is among my very favorite of all pastimes.

I can count on one hand the number of sunrises I have VOLUNTARILY (and without the requirement of work) witnessed.

Slightly higher, perhaps requiring two hands, the number of all-nighters I have ever pulled. Once or twice when the rigors of college demanded it. An all-night final packing before a big move. Occasionally in my adult life when there were ... well, better things to do than sleep. Perhaps once or twice when desperately sick? I'm searching my memory, but NEVER do I recall simply not being able to sleep.

I'm not enjoying this 'first time' experience.

Here - between 6 and 9 hours ahead of the US - I am accustomed to working 'til midnight or so, going to bed late, waking at the leisurely hour of 9ish. It's a routine that suits me, actually.

Last night, no dice. In bed around twoish, I tossed for about 45 minutes, then turned the light back on to read, generally a sure-fire sleep aid. 357 pages later, the Broker was finished, and I was still ... confused. And the sky lightened, and the sun came up, and I... still... can't ... sleep!

No particularly weighty issues on my mind outside of the norm. No spooky noises. Nothing at all, really; it's the oddest feeling. Searching my brain, I actually had no caffeine yesterday. I haven't had any alcohol in 4 days (random luck, not a specifically orchestrated detox). No stimulants or depressants in my body that could account for the strange behavior. (There's at least one smartass out there who will likely suggest it is EXACTLY that - no stimulants or depressants at ALL in my system, for the first time in HOW many years?!?!)

Doctors say that you can't "make up" for lost sleep, but I've got to guess that my body has revolted and is reclaiming the awake hours it was cheated out of during the legendary trip-lag sleep of last week. I have to believe that, because if I'm developing adult-onset insomnia, it's going to make me really cranky.

Making me even more irascible is the reality that this has totally shot my last five days of time-acclimatization all to hell. In order to follow my own well-tested body-clock-resetting prescription (usually after an overseas international flight), I now should force myself, at all costs, to stay awake until 'normal bedtime' again in the local time zone.

I hate it when my own advice comes back to haunt me.

Anyone want in on the pool for how long I actually last?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

with you know who, how we ended up not being lovers of the morning we will never know. As we both know memory does not always serve you well but I am sure you remember (and this'syndrome'may be traced back to) ..."gotta get up and get goin'......" just a thought. :)

3:17 PM  

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