Today's language & philosophy lessons
My use of the word euphemism in the last post reminded me of one of my other favorite not-so-often used (or rarely used correctly) words... aphorism. I share it with you now, courtesy of Merriam-Webster online, because I'm a total dork for languages. Really. And in the case of both euphemism and aphorism, I have to say I must disagree with my teenage hero Ferris Bueller, who said, "Not that I condone fascism. Or any "isms" for that matter. "Isms," in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an "ism." He should believe in himself." (Which is, in and of itself, an aphorism: vicious language circle!) But I've kept you in suspense now too long:
So. To use our new word in a sentence, class, we would say that 'If Not Now, When?' is Viaggiatore's current favorite aphorism.
And so it is.
I certainly didn't create it. Memory is a little foggy on this, but it seems that I read it in a book? Saw it in a movie? Either way, it resonated with me and sort of accidentally became my mantra 3 years ago, New Year's Eve, to be precise... (*never a banner holiday for me.) It struck me that for that year, instead of those horrible 'lose 10 lbs, buy fewer pairs of shoes, volunteer more, drink less, nurse stray animals back to health' resolutions, that my ONE resolution would be to ask myself that question: 'If not now, when?' about all major decisions in my life. To articulate decisions about IF I was going to do or not do things -- and if they were going to be postponed, until when? (not just that horrible LATER or SOMEDAY trap that people fall into; to put actual dates on things.) This is a variation on Beatrice's 'put it on the calendar' mentality. It works for minor decisions, too, interestingly. Allow me to illustrate:
That New Year's Eve -- the question was:
If I'm not going to sell my house and move into the city NOW, when am I going to do it? (Answer: I am going to sell the house. Not today, but in February.)
Nearly 18 months later, the question was:
If I'm not going to move to Italy now, when am I going to do it? (Answer: if I don't do it now - with every opportunity wide open and no reason NOT to - I will never do it. And that's not okay with me. Statistics say that the longer we live, the more complicated our lives get ... and mine is oddly wide open now with no reason standing in my way to not go. Almost as if I was supposed to, which depending on your particular religious belief, maybe I was. Fated. Beschert. Divine intervention. Destiny. And who am I to mess with that? I can't not go just because it's scary, I will never forgive myself.) And, if it ends up not being all those things, I will invoke another favorite aphorism -- this one courtesy of my favorite comedian, bartender, businessman, everyday hero: my Dad -- "there are very few decisions in life that are irreversible" (having children and suicide were his examples. I'm confident, upon reflection, that this was during some sort of a teenage sex-discouraging talk.) But the principle is true, and has stuck with me.
So. If not now, when:
Illustrated with little (hypothetical) decisions:
If I'm not going to eat that entire sleeve of girl scout thin mint cookies now, when am I going to do it? (Answer: Never. oh, please. The sugar rush alone would kill you.)
If I'm not going to learn to speak Japanese / spin wool / play the harpsichord NOW, when am I going to do it? (Answer: Probably never. The follow up question -- is that okay with me? Yup.)
... and it works when counseling others...
If you're not going to dump that guy who is so obviously, classically wrong for you NOW, then when are you going to do it? (Answer: After the wedding you've agreed to go to together in two weeks. Or before he introduces you to his mother. Or before you have to throw him a surprise birthday party or suffer through another totally thoughtless stupid christmas present from him. Or before you meet his kids. Or you're not going to drop him completely because there's SOME redeeming value there at least for the moment(ahem), and you're willing to settle for that for now, but you're going to be brutally honest that this isn't going anywhere and is just casual. Or heavens, before you walk down the aisle. Or whatever. Because you're not meeting anyone ELSE while you're spending every spare moment with Mr. Wrong. But sometimes filling time with Mr. Wrong is easier for the moment. But make the decision, either way -- consciously.)
Answer the question. Put it on the calendar. Live a deliberate and aware life. Make conscious choices -- even if they're choices to keep doing what you're doing. You can always change your decision later. But don't just float along thinking you don't control what 'happens' in your life. You do.
If not now, when?
Main Entry: aph·o·rism
Pronunciation: 'a-f&-"ri-z&m
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French aphorisme, from Late Latin aphorismus, from Greek aphorismos definition, aphorism, from aphorizein to define
1 : a concise statement of a principle
2 : a terse formulation of a truth or sentiment : ADAGE
So. To use our new word in a sentence, class, we would say that 'If Not Now, When?' is Viaggiatore's current favorite aphorism.
And so it is.
I certainly didn't create it. Memory is a little foggy on this, but it seems that I read it in a book? Saw it in a movie? Either way, it resonated with me and sort of accidentally became my mantra 3 years ago, New Year's Eve, to be precise... (*never a banner holiday for me.) It struck me that for that year, instead of those horrible 'lose 10 lbs, buy fewer pairs of shoes, volunteer more, drink less, nurse stray animals back to health' resolutions, that my ONE resolution would be to ask myself that question: 'If not now, when?' about all major decisions in my life. To articulate decisions about IF I was going to do or not do things -- and if they were going to be postponed, until when? (not just that horrible LATER or SOMEDAY trap that people fall into; to put actual dates on things.) This is a variation on Beatrice's 'put it on the calendar' mentality. It works for minor decisions, too, interestingly. Allow me to illustrate:
That New Year's Eve -- the question was:
If I'm not going to sell my house and move into the city NOW, when am I going to do it? (Answer: I am going to sell the house. Not today, but in February.)
Nearly 18 months later, the question was:
If I'm not going to move to Italy now, when am I going to do it? (Answer: if I don't do it now - with every opportunity wide open and no reason NOT to - I will never do it. And that's not okay with me. Statistics say that the longer we live, the more complicated our lives get ... and mine is oddly wide open now with no reason standing in my way to not go. Almost as if I was supposed to, which depending on your particular religious belief, maybe I was. Fated. Beschert. Divine intervention. Destiny. And who am I to mess with that? I can't not go just because it's scary, I will never forgive myself.) And, if it ends up not being all those things, I will invoke another favorite aphorism -- this one courtesy of my favorite comedian, bartender, businessman, everyday hero: my Dad -- "there are very few decisions in life that are irreversible" (having children and suicide were his examples. I'm confident, upon reflection, that this was during some sort of a teenage sex-discouraging talk.) But the principle is true, and has stuck with me.
So. If not now, when:
Illustrated with little (hypothetical) decisions:
If I'm not going to eat that entire sleeve of girl scout thin mint cookies now, when am I going to do it? (Answer: Never. oh, please. The sugar rush alone would kill you.)
If I'm not going to learn to speak Japanese / spin wool / play the harpsichord NOW, when am I going to do it? (Answer: Probably never. The follow up question -- is that okay with me? Yup.)
... and it works when counseling others...
If you're not going to dump that guy who is so obviously, classically wrong for you NOW, then when are you going to do it? (Answer: After the wedding you've agreed to go to together in two weeks. Or before he introduces you to his mother. Or before you have to throw him a surprise birthday party or suffer through another totally thoughtless stupid christmas present from him. Or before you meet his kids. Or you're not going to drop him completely because there's SOME redeeming value there at least for the moment(ahem), and you're willing to settle for that for now, but you're going to be brutally honest that this isn't going anywhere and is just casual. Or heavens, before you walk down the aisle. Or whatever. Because you're not meeting anyone ELSE while you're spending every spare moment with Mr. Wrong. But sometimes filling time with Mr. Wrong is easier for the moment. But make the decision, either way -- consciously.)
Answer the question. Put it on the calendar. Live a deliberate and aware life. Make conscious choices -- even if they're choices to keep doing what you're doing. You can always change your decision later. But don't just float along thinking you don't control what 'happens' in your life. You do.
If not now, when?
posted by Viaggiatore | 6/29/2005
3 Comments:
"Se non ora quando?"
is the title of a book by the Italian writer Primo Levi.
Supposedly he borrowed it from a east european poet.
(-supposedly- since I don't remember now if Levi fictiously pretended to cite a poem written by another author or it was actually real)
"If God is love and love is blind, is Stevie Wonder God?"
Not as prolific as Jack Handy but good enough for not having any caffeine this morning. Heading off to my first of two Cubs games this week. Let's hope my mere presence doesn't immediately set off a tidal wave of dropped fly balls, stranded men on base and strikeouts, as seems to be the case for the last several games I have attended.
Keep the updates coming, Kel. I smell a book deal....chick lit meets wayward traveler. Can't you see it?
N.Winkust
UPDATE: I spoke too soon. They lost 10-6. Hopefully will have better luck Saturday.
N.Winkust
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