If not now, when?

One American woman. Twenty acres and a 1650 farmhouse in Tuscany. Random introspection and hilarity, depending on the day.

31 August 2006

What I've been doing while everyone finishes their summer vacations

I’ve been muddling through a series of strange, relatively violent allergic reactions (Imagine funny hospital stories here: Hand flailing doctors! Medical Italian! Non capito! Aspetta! Wait here and try not to swell up more while we go have coffee!).

Enter: the gradual development of a five inch by three inch giant red welt on the back of my left arm/shoulder. What started as two itsywitsyteenytiny puncture marks then became an index-card-sized oval of hard/swollen skin, bringing with them shooting pains. After two days, it has progressed to a swollen, oozy, purplish multiple-blistery center.* Arm is heavy and tingly, and very hot to the touch.

Can’t… think… pain… constant.
Brain...mushy...from...anti-everythings.


Apparently the ‘treatment’ now is: just wait for my system to absorb the venom.**
Oh, and hand me a napkin so I can dab at the oozing every five minutes or so.
Mmmmm, that's pretty.

As if I wasn’t cranky enough already this week.
Apparently the spiders are as no-nonsense as the people around here.

And that pus? I’ve decided it must be my inner Tuscan, leaking out.
Serves me right for going looking for it.

* Photo accompaniment to this post conspicuously absent, out of respect for any of you with an appetite. Besides, how do you photograph the back of your arm?

**And, BTW? I am so HATING Josh Baskin right now for getting me addicted to an obscure-malady medical drama (House) on DVD. Because after watching 16 episodes in a row, I am convinced it would be such crazy poetic justice that I’m dying from something obscure and that no one will figure it out in time. What is the differential diagnosis for Spider Bite (species unknown) when it presents coupled with symptoms of incorrect verb usage, introspection, broken heart and self-pity? Clearly I need to find me a quirkily cute, crusty-exterior, soft-interior doctor, and fast.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ewwwwwwwwwww! I knew I hated spiders, but .....ewwwwwwww. Time to spread around some of that diatomaceous earth. Did you get bitten as you slept?

Much worse than bats, eh?

Good luck with the pus.

BTW, have you watched Huff? House is good, but not if you're ailing.

Alison in CC

8:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey. I just saw Snakes on a Plane and in that a little boy was saved by a snake bite by a woman who swished olive oil around in her mouth to "coat it from the venom" and then she cut the giant, oozing, purplish blister open and sucked the venom out. I know you have olive oil at your disposal, now it's just finding someone to do the sucking.

And people said there was no redeeming qualities to SoaP.

DaisyBoy

3:30 PM  
Blogger miss tango in her eyes said...

I feel for you! Sounds like it has been a bloody awful experience, with silver linings.

6:18 PM  

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