8 inches of swollen, hot, throbbing flesh
(Oh, don't I wish that were nearly as exciting as it sounds.)
So since I know you're hanging on my every word (hah!), here's the latest:
Overnight, the "index card" of hot, inflated redness turned into the ENTIRE back side of my upper arm.
Shoulder to elbow.
(and of course, looking online it says "you should consult a doctor immediately if you have swelling 'across two major joints - for example, from your shoulder to your elbow'." Then again, type just about anything into WebMD and you can convince yourself you have cancer.) I'm no doctor, but I think this really isn't good.
Back to pronto soccorso (emergency room).
Big needle. Dizzy head. Draining my inner Tuscan.
Doctor: "che bel infezione c'e l'hai"
(what a beautiful infection you have!)
Me (gulping back tears): Beautiful?!? You want it? Take it!
So much for 'wait for the venom to be absorbed'approach. Now it's antibiotics.
And somehow, I'm not convinced we've heard the end of this. Just a crazy feeling.
Don't bats *eat* spiders? Maybe this is a demonstration from the bats' union to show me just how much I'd be sad without them. Okay, I give. Bring on the bats. Just make *this* go away.
Thank goodness I'm almost never sick, because I'm a really really crappy patient. In any language.
So since I know you're hanging on my every word (hah!), here's the latest:
Overnight, the "index card" of hot, inflated redness turned into the ENTIRE back side of my upper arm.
Shoulder to elbow.
(and of course, looking online it says "you should consult a doctor immediately if you have swelling 'across two major joints - for example, from your shoulder to your elbow'." Then again, type just about anything into WebMD and you can convince yourself you have cancer.) I'm no doctor, but I think this really isn't good.
Back to pronto soccorso (emergency room).
Big needle. Dizzy head. Draining my inner Tuscan.
Doctor: "che bel infezione c'e l'hai"
(what a beautiful infection you have!)
Me (gulping back tears): Beautiful?!? You want it? Take it!
So much for 'wait for the venom to be absorbed'approach. Now it's antibiotics.
And somehow, I'm not convinced we've heard the end of this. Just a crazy feeling.
Don't bats *eat* spiders? Maybe this is a demonstration from the bats' union to show me just how much I'd be sad without them. Okay, I give. Bring on the bats. Just make *this* go away.
Thank goodness I'm almost never sick, because I'm a really really crappy patient. In any language.
posted by Viaggiatore | 9/01/2006
3 Comments:
Eek...I was sort of hoping for an X-rated post about the hot non-English speaking hospital orderly that you had a quickie with in the utility closet. I'm sure they're around, though. I hope you don't have to go back but if you do, maybe now you can make it a game. I'm sure "find the hot orderly" in Italian sounds much less sleazy than in English!
Sucking venom from afar....
I am 3 seconds away from getting on a plane with a large pot of soup and some fresh squeezed. Please take good care of yourself.
OMG...8" (damn). And you are right, not in the right spot. You and your medical issues...hmmmmm! I thinkith you needith to come back state side! Good vibes coming your way!
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